Seemed it was a high priority for him. In fact, with the balance owed on the rings, he'd even commented that we may get me some small plain band if we got married before the rings were paid off, making it sound like it would be soon after the 4 weeks of counseling. In fact, when looking at the rings and in several conversations, he's talked about getting me back on the good insurance again (military, because it covers everything, whereas my disability Medicare is horrible so I never get treated.) Again, making it sound like the marriage would be soon even though a date wasn't set.
Remember two nights ago and the dinner thing? Yeah, we've barely spoken since. I'm not sure what HIS problem is since he was the ass to ME, but it's apparent he's being pissy about something -- probably pissed that I was pissed or something equally insignificant. (Yes, I think I had just reasons to be upset and he didn't care enough to figure it out. No, I don't think he has a single reason to be upset.)
Tonight, my oldest wanted to go out to eat and he actually agreed, and at dinner, we talked back and forth about his work -- much more than the last two days combined. I thought okay, we'll just leave this to miscommunication of me getting upset and him being an ass from being so overworked. But as soon as we returned home, the silence returned.
So... he got online. I asked if he was going to look up the location of the church we're supposed to go to tomorrow. He said no. I asked, "Do you want me to look it up or just cancel it?"
He said, "Cancel it."
Well alright then. But I'm not canceling it. I'll go alone and get personal counseling instead.
*shrugs*
As he always says, "It's all about priorities", and he definitely let me know what's a priority to him now.
Wow. Passive aggressive man is passive aggressive. I hope the session goes well for you tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteSomeone should benefit from this counselling, although it sounds like he is being childish. As an elementary teacher I don't know from psychology but I sure as hell recognize pouting. Hope it gets better, boop. Love ya.
ReplyDeleteHere's my $.02 worth of assvice, but Lord knows for what it's worth you'll probably hand me back change.
ReplyDeleteIf I've learned anything from my 3+ years of therapy it's that he feels just as justified in his anger as you do in yours. Words aren't the only way we communicate. Unfortunately, the non-verbal is sometimes louder and leads to a lot of misunderstandings.
I know that Wahoo and I feel differently on things because as men and women we're wired differently. Lately he's not in the mood, and I was feeling seriously rejected.
Turns out he's been really anxious about financial matters and my advances have been compounding his stress. There were a few days of hurt feelings that finally lead to me basically asking "WTF?". Then he explained his version of "not tonight I've got a headache".
Men stress more about providing. I'm hoping he'll feel more confident soon, but until then I'm trying to understand. Chomping at the bit
sometimes, but trying to understand. ;)
FGBVs.
Hoorah Hooha out...
My own bit of not quite assvice,but assresponse, I understand that men were traditionally the providers of money and stress about it, but I think it's their responsibility to give that up. Women can be providers, too, and those men who are worried about providing need to open up and talk about it and find ways to share that burden of "providing." Plus, realize that there's more to providing than money--time means a lot. Being home and around and not working 18 hour days might mean more than the money.
ReplyDeleteThen again, I'm in a relationship where if we both get our ideal career paths--I'll always be making more money than he is and for my parents, until my mom quit the firm to write, they had exactly equal paychecks. Men being providers was this thing that happened for other families and other people, not me.